Experiences from the Hospital

I think one of the most insignificant, yet thoroughly frustrating parts of my recovery process from the injury is having to drive down to the hospital every couple of months, battling traffic, wrestling for a parking spot, and then standing at registration, in a line longer than the wait for Space Mountain at Disneyworld. But there is no exciting destination for this line… Just more waiting, more lines. You see, here at Denver Health, watching paint dry is considered one of the “faster” services they offer. Getting seen by a Dr. on the other hand… well, hopefully you have penciled in “All Day” on your calendar.

Ok. I apologize for my little tirade here. Enough ranting… I’m finally done with my doctor’s appt. Now I can go spend some time doing something I do love… Youth ministry. Thank you Jesus.

Thoughts on Transformers

Ok, judge me. Call me super-spiritual, or legalistic, or out of touch with today’s cultural norms, or overly sensitive, or whatever… but my heart feels… saddened.

Strange. Maybe it’s because I am getting older, or perhaps because as a Dad I just see things differently now, but my actual reactions were diametrically opposed from what I thought they would be…

Standing in a surging sea of teenagers, moments after Transformers 2 credits rolled, I feel an overwhelming realization of the cultural war I am up against.

How do I combat this kind of cultural message to our students? How can my one voice even make a difference?

Inundated with a billion dollar culture of music, values, and media that I can’t even begin to touch. In one night hundreds of thousands of young lives across the nation were exposed to Hollywood’s message.

I just feel … Grieved. I don’t know how else to explain it. As my boys cheered from the entrance of the scantily clad heroine… How do I make a difference? What do I do compared with this? Something has become dislodged in my spirit…

How do we prevail against this? How do we be in the world, but not like it? How do we set a higher standard when we are sucked into the world’s lowering standards?

Can we impact it more than IT impacts us? Maybe these are just the mad musings of a spiritual leader no longer on the cultural cusp of trendiness.

Standing in the cacophony hugging, macking, and high fiving teens, sharing their favorite moments of the movie, I just felt out of place. How do we allow God to breakthrough to deeper transforming things, and go beyond a superficial, gone in a moment reactions of a cultural influence like this?

Where does God fit in all of this? How do I fit in to all of this? How can I even begin to stem this tide, much less overcome it with good? Am I pedaling positive feelings or authentic life change?

I feel as if the cultural war is being waged in epic proportions all around me and all I brought is a penknife; that the culture influences by the dump truck full and all I have is a small snow shovel.

Am I overreacting? What would Jesus do? Oh I wish I knew. Curse the darkness or light a candle? How do we instill convictions??? How do I connect people to spiritual transformation; life change with Jesus, and not just give them kudos for using “fudge” instead of the actual F word.

What does it mean to be more like Jesus? How do we engage the darkness without embracing and becoming like it? How are we as Christians called to stand out and be different? Will He recognize us when He comes? Will our cause clear?

I don’t want to overreact, but I just witnessed a cultural
phenomenon that I somehow cannot shake. How do I equip young Christian leaders to lead, instead of linger; to influence, and not just be influenced?

Quick Quip

News Headline: AIG is currently being rebranded as AIU.

“180 billion dollars and all you come up with is AIU? Talk about buying a vowel.” – Jon Stewart as quoted on The Daily Show

Navigating Leadership Transitions

THE LAST FEW MONTHS  HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLY TRYING MOMENTS OF MY SOUL. In the midst of one of the most difficult seasons for me personally, many of the people whom I have dearly loved in our ministry have “thrown in the towel” and left our ministry leadership team.

I take it personally. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I need to keep people at arms length. But I can’t. I’m just not wired that way.

My leadership team is my ministry FAMILY. When someone leaves (out of character issues, or “its just time to move on”) I cannot help but feel deeply wounded at their departure; like something has torn loose in my HEART.

I RECENTLY CAME ACROSS THE FOLLOWING THOUGHT-PROVOKING STATEMENT FROM TD JAKES ON THIS TOPIC:
“If we are to avoid disappointment as pastors, we must adjust our expectations to the reality rather than the IDEAL of ministry. Idealistically, we think we have found a place of fulfillment in the pastorate. Idealistically, we believe if we lay down our lives for the sheep, we will be applauded. The truth is, the shepherd is only a steward of the sheep. The sheep are being reared for a purpose – and that purpose is neither camaraderie nor friendship. The flock will not give you a sense of family. If you expect that, then you will end up feeling betrayed. They will not give you intimacy or affection. They will take from your scarred and bleeding hands direction without affection, guidance without commitment…”

Somewhat discouraging? Yes. But it is this last line of Jakes’ statement that gives me hope:

“…Only those who make the transition from SHEEP to DISCIPLES begin to feel any level of loyalty – and that is the direct result of discipline.”

Not EVERYONE is called to be a long-term member of your flock. Some God has called only for a temporary season. When it is time, they WILL leave.

Most of the time YOU can’t change them… They are who they are – Sheep or Disciples. Our job as leaders is not to mourn over the ones who go, but to SEEK OUT the ones who desire to be disciples and offer them opportunities to take up spiritual ownership in the ministry.

If you are going to be an effective shepherd, pastor, or spiritual leader, you must be able to differentiate between the two. If you confuse the makeup of you flock, it will only lead to DISCOURAGEMENT and feelings of inadequacy as a pastor and leader.

“Darkness Held Back” ::Saturday Night of Coram Deo 09

Tonight was disappointing. Not because of what God did (and he did A LLOT), but in how I thought it would happen.

It was a powerful night. Lives were changed. Sin was abandoned. Prayers were heard. Hearts realigned. Prisoners set free. Commitments made. Old lives discarded. God’s incredible message of hope and heart of love embraced… Yet I felt that God move in spite of me, not of because of me.

I am thankful that when I miss the boat, God still tale ATP where we need to be. To be honest, I was disappointed with how our closing service went. I had great stories, engaging video clips, a moving and poignant theme, by when I all came together; something was missing (in my opinion). I felt like the service failed.

I asked God. He assure me I did what I was supposed I do. I guess sometimes God moves IN SPITE OF US instead of BECAUSE OF US.

In the end, we ended up where God wanted us to be, even though the method of path was not how I thought we should get there.

It was such a powerful night in the hearts and minds of the students. I guess God is STILL teaching me. Shocker, I know…

“So Others May Live” ::Friday Night at Coram Deo 09

It is almost 1:30a, Saturday, June 6th. I had hoped to go to bed and forget the nagging reminder to blog this, but I have been unable to shake this moment. I am beyond any accumulation of words to describe what God has done at our Coram Deo camp so far. I am simply soaking up the memories of what God did tonight. Thank you Jesus that all of the work, discussion design, late nights editing video, moments wrestling with God over direction, and frustration with trying to coordinate such a grand event have paid off. I am exhausted to be sure… In the last 33 hours, I have slept 2 of them.

But in this spiritually soaked stupor of contentment, I am reminded of one of my all-time favorite quotes of history. Vince Lombardi, an incredible visionary coach once said to his team, “I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour – his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear – is that moment when he has worked is heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.”

Thank you Jesus, that we are being victorious. I have nothing but gratefulness, joy, and delight overwhelming my soul at this moment. Living off of nothing but Mountain Dews (and the food my INCREDIBLE armor-bearer Lori Fox has brought me), I have seen God move in such sweet, sovereign healing ways tonight.

Allow me to jump briefly back to the planning stages of this camp… I honestly didn’t know if we would ever be able to break even on our numbers to pay our contract with the camp. We began this registration journey over 8 weeks ago and were setting a goal of 80-90 people. In my heart I really wanted to see over 100, but I thought I might want to rein this in due to the reality and challenges of our current economy. As each week crawled closer to our big week, the students sign ups continued to roll in again and again, eventually even exceeding my “high goals.” We had to reset our T shirt count 3 times, had to reorder tokens, and have still gone over the top with our turnout. I don’t want to give this number as a sign of achievement, because at the end of the day, it is NOT about the numbers, but about the life change, but… by the grace of God we have almost 160 people with us at camp. God is good.

As always, our Rap Groups were top notch. Our services have flowed well. Worship has been great. And God has showed up in wonderful ways. But tonight was just unreal. I desperately wanted to connect my kids with the idea of sacrificing our lives SO OTHERS CAN LIVE. Stepping out on somewhat of a risk, I opted NOT to speak tonight, but to instead play a video. I spent several hours editing down the movie “The Guardian.” I used the scenes and dialogue of the movie to build my spiritual case. As the finale of the night nearer, God said, “Not that way.” With only moments before I was to step up and bring us into a time of focused prayer at the altar, God changed everything.

At that moment, you could just feel the presence of God in our little chapel. It was so think and sweet. You could sense such a powerful move of God upon us as many of the students were not only in tears, but their sobs could be heard through the room. As I took the stage and turned, I saw countless figures hunched over, move by the healing work of God, actively in pursuit of them. We took a few moments to make sure God was leading, and then changed our service direction to match.

I can still hear the David Crowder song playing as we closed with… “Never Let Go.” I just talked briefly through an understanding that no matter WHAT happens to you, no matter what you have done, no matter where you are at with God, no matter if you life has turned out the way you expected or not, no matter if you have let go of God, GOD WILL NEVER LET YOU GO OF YOU.

The response was nothing short of amazing. Students praying for students. Tears. Healing words. Holy Spirit comfort. A room full of orange Glowsticks for Jesus. Conversations about important things. Lives changed. Restoration. Release. Freedom. New Life. Lifted Burdens. New Commitments. Released guilt and shame. One sovereign move of God.

Over an hour after the “altar call” time had begun, as things we beginning to wind down, someone said to me, “Hey, good job tonight. It was awesome.” That is when I realized… I didn’t feel responsible or feel that I could TAKE responsibility for ANYTHING that took place at the altars because I hadn’t anticipated it. My plans were in a different direction entirely. God had orchestrated this response completely… I had simply listened. SO… I guess YES, I will take full responsibility for listening. To God, I give the rest of the props.

I’m just lying on the field of battle…

“Go Deeper” ::Thursday Night of Coram Deo 09

Thursday Night service opened up our Coram Deo 09. We kicked it off walking through our summer camp theme: Go Deeper.

It is a spiritual challenge to all of us, no matter where we are at with our Christianity, to go deeper in our relationship with God.

You see, God wants us in the CENTER of His river of living water, where the water is over your head… there you must rely completely on Him. Unable to do it on your own, you’re immersed in Him. That is where joy is found…in the MIDDLE of the river.

Not on the EDGES, where you can choose COMPROMISE, but in the CENTER of His will – Kept at a distance from the temptations on the banks. But it is your choice to go deeper. To walk into the water where eventually you’re completely immersed. Saturated. Soaked. Drenched. Completely covered in His presence.

But instead, tragically many of us do linger in the SHALLOWS, with less than what God intends for us to have. You play it safe on the banks, trying to convince yourself that you are experiencing everything God has for you… but the truth is you only have your TOE in the water. Maybe you are content with that, just getting a tiny touch from God…

Ezek. 47:1 tells us, “Now [the Spirit of God] brought me back to the entrance to the Temple. I saw water [trickling] out from under the Temple porch to the east…” (MSG & NASB)

This word in Ezekiel “trickling,” comes from a word indicating a jar, or something with a narrow mouth. It’s the idea of just getting a little dribble…

But watch the progression here as Ezekiel’s prophecy unfolds…

Ez 47:2-6 [the Spirit of God] then took me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the gate complex on the east. The water was gushing from under the south front of the Temple. He walked to the east with a measuring tape and measured off fifteen hundred feet, leading me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another fifteen hundred feet, leading me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another fifteen hundred feet, leading me through water waist-deep. He measured off another fifteen hundred feet. By now it was a [rushing] river over my head, water to swim in, water no one could possibly walk through.

Perhaps you are just standing on the bank or have a shallow “Ankle-Deep” relationship with God right now. Maybe you have gone with God into a “Knee-Deep” or “Waist-Deep” walk with Him. Whatever the case, we see from this passage that God is calling all of us, at whatever place we are at with Him, to Go Deeper.

Darlene Zschech, at a Hillsong worship conference in 2004 said it this way:

“You’ve got to get back out into the deep water and grab onto God, because you know if He doesn’t come through, you are going to drown. That’s where you need to be.”